So, you’ve decided to open your relationship. Congrats! Welcome to the glamorous, occasionally awkward, and deeply rewarding world of ethical non-monogamy. You’ve read the books, had the talks, maybe even downloaded the apps. You’re ready to share the love — or at least the logistical Google Calendar. But there’s one area that often gets overlooked in these conversations, and that’s porn.
Yes, porn. The thing Bang.com specializes in. That spicy little window into other people’s sexytime that can be both fun and fraught, depending on how it’s used, how it’s talked about, and what baggage you and your partner are carrying. Let’s break it down — with some humor and zero judgment.
Wait, Isn’t Porn Kind of a Solo Thing?
You’d think! But in open relationships, everything becomes a conversation. Porn isn’t just a sock-on-the-door solo mission anymore; it can actually reflect values, fantasies, and sometimes even boundaries. In a monogamous setup, people might argue about porn (“Is it cheating?” “Why are you watching so much step-sibling stuff?” “Are you okay?”), but in open relationships, it can get a bit more… strategic.
Because once you’re open, questions like this start to pop up:
- Is watching porn with someone else a sexual act?
- Can I make OnlyFans content while we’re open, or is that a different category of openness?
- Are we okay with certain types of porn but not others?
- Do we talk about it or pretend like we don’t both have incognito tabs?
Why Boundaries Around Porn Matter (Even When You’re Already Sleeping With Other People)
You might assume that if you’re cool with your partner doing the horizontal mambo with another consenting adult, porn should be a non-issue. But that’s like saying, “I let you drive my car, so of course I’m fine with you replacing my Spotify playlist with dubstep remixes of Taylor Swift.” One thing doesn’t always equal another.
For some folks, porn might bring up feelings of insecurity, comparison, or confusion — especially if it involves content that pushes personal boundaries. Like, maybe you're fine with your partner seeing someone else, but you're weirdly jealous of their browser history. (Don't worry, you're not broken — you're just human with a splash of digital-era neurosis.)
The Golden Rule: Communicate Like You’re in a Very Polite Courtroom Drama
Here’s the deal: talking about porn in your open relationship doesn’t have to be awkward — but it does need to happen. Treat it like you’re both lawyers calmly presenting your case, ideally over takeout.
Try this:
- “Hey, I noticed I feel a little weird when I see you watching a lot of amateur stuff. Can we talk about that?”
- “I’m thinking of subscribing to this creator on OnlyFans. Is that cool with you, or should we set a limit on paid content?”
- “You bookmarked what now?”
Ask questions, not just out of curiosity, but out of respect. Remember: you’re not policing each other. You’re just co-authoring the user manual for your relationship.
Some Common Porn-Related Boundaries in Open Relationships
Every relationship is a unique mix of preferences, but here are a few things people commonly discuss:
- Watching porn with others: Is that an intimate experience or just Netflix with better lighting?
- Paid subscriptions or cam services: Are these considered interactions, or just digital tipping for good performance?
- What kind of porn is okay: Some couples set limits on content that reflects certain fantasies or dynamics.
- Privacy vs. transparency: Are you expected to disclose what you’re watching, or is it your own business unless you bring it into the shared space?
Spoiler alert: there’s no universal right answer. You and your partner(s) get to decide what works — and that decision can evolve over time.
Porn as a Tool, Not a Threat
Here’s the fun part: porn doesn’t have to be a point of conflict. In fact, it can be a fantastic way to explore fantasies, spice up your sex life, or even get ideas for things to try with partners.
Some couples even use it as foreplay, as educational material, or just a really fun way to say, “Hey, let’s get weird tonight.”
Final Thoughts (AKA Don’t Panic)
If you're in an open relationship, you already know it takes communication, trust, and probably a spreadsheet or two. Adding porn into the mix is just another layer to explore — not a crisis waiting to happen.
Be curious, not judgmental. Ask questions. Laugh a lot. And remember: at the end of the day, it’s just people doing sexy things on camera. Whether it’s a gateway to intimacy or just something you watch while eating cereal in your pajamas, it’s all about how you and your partner frame it.
And if you're still not sure how to bring it up? Just say, "So... I read this blog post from Bang! today…" 😉