We all have our quirks. Everyone is unique, and when it comes to preferences in the bedroom, there's no exception to that rule. Some of us like bondage, some of us are into roleplay, the options are endless really. But what do you do when you feel naughty, and not in a good way. Society can condition us into thinking some of our preferences are better off hidden away and kept hush hush. However, here at Bang! we're going to loudly say: no way! Read on to do a deep dive all about taboo fantasies, kinks in the bedroom, and how to enjoy what you like loudly and proudly!
Understanding taboo fantasies and kinks: What motivates our desires?
First off, what is taboo anyways? Historically, the word has been defined as something that's forbidden to discuss or associate with as a result of a social norm. Things that are taboo are considered scandalous and freaky- but those are two of our favorite things here at Bang! We let our freak flags fly high around here, and believe it's more fun to enjoy what you want! Things that are taboo to the rest of the world are a special temptation, an "I shouldn't... but..." desire. It's natural to be interested in stuff that everyone might not get, such as a specific kink or sexual interest, and we're here to tell you it's alright to get a little freaky!
Breaking down the stigma surrounding taboo sexual activities and fantasies
So, you've accepted your taboo desire. You're sitting here, reading this, thinking, "hell yeah, you know what, I AM into feet!" (or whatever it is your slutty little heart desires). And that's A-okay! Let's break down the stigma related to your favorite sexual activities and fantasies. First off, it's important to remember that everything is a social construct. Everything from the clothes you wear to the job you work, is set in place by a bunch of societal rules that some people made up a long time ago. Social constructs and rules are important, don't get me wrong, they create order and stability, but at the same time, not absolutely everything needs to be judged and policed. What you're into in the bedroom, as long as you're staying safe and have consent from all involved parties, should be entirely your business.
How to communicate your taboo fantasies with a partner
Now that you have owned your "taboo", the next step is to play it out. What's the fun of knowing what you're into if you can't experience it? Here's some tips on how to communicate your fantasies with your partner.
- Choose a good time and place to talk: Don't start this conversation while you're out at a restaurant for date night! Find a comfortable and private setting where you can have a good, uninterrupted conversation with your partner.
- Establish trust and start slowly: Proceed with caution, don't rush into it. Mention that you have some fantasies you'd like to experience together and take note of how they react first, before suggesting getting into the action.
- Be respectful: It's important to remember that your fantasies may be outside of the norm or not what your partner is into. They're not called taboo for nothing! Reassure your partner and let them know however they feel is valid. Which leads into our next point...
- Encourage their feedback: Ask and listen to what they have to say! It might be a conversation with a lot of back and forth, or they might be totally down right off the bat. You will never know unless you ask!
- Discuss consent/boundaries: Make sure you've laid a good foundation for how you're going about this. Consent and communication are key!
- Explore Compromises and Alternatives: If your partner is hesitant about certain aspects of your fantasies, explore potential compromises or alternative ways to fulfill your desires that are mutually satisfying and comfortable for both of you.
- Give Them Time to Process: Your partner may need some time to process this, and they might come up with compromises or alternatives. Both of you should think on this and come to a mutual decision.
Tips for integrating taboo play into your sexual routine
Once you've already talked about your once-taboo fantasies with your partner and they're into it- awesome! Now it's time to get to the good stuff. The world of sexual pleasure is yours for the taking, and you can start to add some spice to your sex life.
Here's some final quick tips:
- Make sure to start slowly and ALWAYS establish consent
- Trust each other
- Have fun with it!
- Check out Bang.com for all the inspiration you'll ever need 😉