Let’s be real: talking about sexual desires with your partner can feel daunting, especially if you don't know what to expect... kind of like walking into a high-stakes poker game with a bad hand. But guess what? This isn’t poker, and the stakes are all about improving your connection. We want to see you win here at Bang!, so let's face the uncertainty together and open up a conversation about what really matters!
Thinking About Your Desires: What Do You Really Want?
Before you bring up your wildest dreams (or even your mildest ones), take a sec to figure out what you actually want. Do you want to try something new, fix something that’s been bothering you, or just spice things up a bit? Think of it as creating your personal "menu of desires."
Maybe journal your thoughts or have a quick "me, myself, and I" brainstorming session. Get specific—"I want more cuddles after sex," or "What’s up with those velvet handcuffs I saw online?"—whatever floats your boat. Knowing what you want makes it way easier to explain without sounding like you just Googled “fun bedroom ideas” ten minutes ago.
How to Plan Out What You’re Going to Say
Nobody likes winging an awkward conversation, so let’s make a plan. Think about these three things:
- Your message: What exactly are you trying to get across? No rambling allowed.
- Your tone: Aim for friendly and upbeat, not "we need to talk" doom vibes.
- Your goal: What’s your dream outcome? Shared giggles? A new adventure? Clarity?
Practice saying it out loud. You can even try it in front of a mirror or practice it on a friend (one who's cool with this sort of thing, obviously). Use "I" statements to keep things chill, like, "I’ve been thinking about ways we can make our time together even more fun," instead of, "Why don’t you ever do X, Y, or Z?"
And pick your timing wisely. Middle of dinner or right before bed? Those two are maybe not the best calls. Go for a moment when you’re both relaxed—like a Saturday morning over coffee, for example.
Bringing the Conversation Up
Now for the fun part: breaking the ice. Start with something light to ease into the chat. How about:
- "Hey, you know what’s been on my mind lately? Us and how to keep things exciting."
- "I saw this article about couples who try new things together. Thought it could be fun to chat about."
It’s like tossing out a casual "Hey, wanna go skydiving?" but for your relationship. If they seem a little deer-in-the-headlights, let them know you’re just opening the door to talk and nothing’s set in stone. It’s about connecting, not ambushing.
How to Listen and Come to Conclusions Together
Alright, now that the conversation’s rolling, it’s time to practice some next-level listening skills. Remember, this isn’t an infomercial where you’re selling your idea. It’s a two-way street, so:
- Paraphrase: "So you’re saying you’re intrigued but nervous? Got it."
- Ask questions: "What’s your take on this? Anything you’ve been curious about?"
- Show empathy: "I get that this might feel a little weird to talk about."
Keep the vibe open and playful. If there’s resistance, don’t push—just plant the seed and give it time. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and your "new things to try" list doesn’t have to be either.
Where to Go From There?
So you’ve had the talk—congrats! Now it’s time to turn ideas into action. Here’s the game plan:
- Set boundaries: Agree on what you're both cool with and what’s a no (for now, at least?)
- Take baby steps: You don’t have to go full throttle right away. Start small.
- Check in often: It can be as simple as asking, "How’re we feeling about that new thing? Good, weird, amazing?" Check in with your partner and assess the vibes.
Final Thoughts
Talking about sexual desires with your partner might seem like a big deal, especially if it's unexplored territory... but it doesn’t have to be all serious and heavy. Approach it with humor, curiosity, and a lot of love. Who knows? You might end up not just spicing things up but discovering a whole new level of connection. Remember, this is about having fun and growing together—so go on and make it an adventure worth sharing!
